Late night thoughts

I hate these night shifts.

What am I spose to do with myself all night???

Reminds me of the past, being a single mom, the kids all in bed and the house way too quiet. I don't watch tv, so what's left? I used to be so bored those nights, I'd find myself going to bed by 8... just boredom.

It's no secret, I hate his job (well the hours of it) hate the company he works for. But at least he HAS a job...gotta count for something right?!?! It DOES pay well, and the benifits are a definite plus, but damn these hours suck.

The kids are all in bed...asleep....well, probably not. They feed off each other, and it only gets worse at night.

Life with 8 kids is definitly interesting. The laundry never stops. Urghhh.... the laundry, probably what I should be doing now, but I can only work as fast as the machines. And there just not that fast...not as fast as 8 kids that's for sure. I *HATE* laundry to begin with. 8 kids makes it worse.

Steve's oldest daughter said something to me tonight, just one of our lil chats where out of the blue she gives me a small glimpse into life at her mother's home. These little comments are usually good for shock value, it just floors me some of the things she comes up with. Tonight it was "your lucky you have a washing machine. My mom doesn't have one... she does our laundry in the sink"

O.o

WOW. Ummmm, ok. What do you say to that???

I suppose when you need clothes washed with no machine or money.... Sometimes I feel really bad for Steve's ex. I know being a single mom isn't easy, I've been there. But it's frustrating when it feels like you try to help someone, and they just turn around and do stupid things that just don't make any sense at all. I don't know what else I can do. I've dropped things on her whim to come and take the kids for her to have a break, I've re arranged my work schedule, my life to try and help her out for the kids sake. Yet it seems like all she wants is a hand out. It doesn't seem like she's trying to do what she can at all. It seems more like she just wants everyone to give and give while she does nothing to help herself or her situation, or the kids. It's just sad sometimes.

It bothers me that she thinks nothing of going out and partying or going to the movies or buying $300 cell phones which are only going to be disconnectted in a month when the company realizes she isn't going to pay the bill...and yet the kids are walking around in clothes that haven't been washed properly. I've asked Steve to put the offer out to her that I'll do the kids laundry during the week if she gives it to him. She's probably going to refuse, and if she does, there's not much else I can do.

I don't agree with some of the things his ex does, I think she makes some pretty poor decisions. I hope that some day she gains the maturity to see that what she does, and to change it. but I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for that day.